Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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