I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
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beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
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Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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