it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
