Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
