Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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