billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize