So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
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yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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