You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
