if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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