Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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