do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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