I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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