hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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