how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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