I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
