Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
