I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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