I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
