I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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