At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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