Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
