So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
