Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
