Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im holly from the hills drunk
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
