Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
