I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
