Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize