hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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