Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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