he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
