last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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