I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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