I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
