Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
