my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
