Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
