Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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