singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
