speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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