Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Welp...herpes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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