Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
