i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
