we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
please come you make the beer taste better
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
