M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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