What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
