I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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