Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
