remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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