Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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