i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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