What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
