She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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