Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We are two peas in an std pod
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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