Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
