you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
