i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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