Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
