her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
