she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Floor bacon is actually really good
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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